Slovakia

9th June – 13th June 2024

Population about 5.5 milllion. Lots of mountains. Strapped to the Czech Republic in 1918. Various changes in status and a bit of Soviet communism between 1948 and 1989. Velvet Revolution ended communist rule of Czechoslovakia in 1989. Amicable ‘velvet divorce’ from Czech Republic in 1993. Joined EU and took on the euro in 2004. It’s word for ‘Hi’ is ‘Ahoj’ pronounced ‘Ahoy’, which is jolly. It is the the world’s largest car producer per capita, manufacturing 1.1 million cars in 2019. Who knew?

Our trip through Slovakia was brief and a bit of a blur. Brief as Slovakia is not a very big country, especially in the north-south dimension, and a blur because for much of our time here it rained cats and dogs. Our run of weather luck had come to an end. We were happily back to using Euros, but unhappily had another language to contend with. More unpronouncable words with a lack of vowels and odd accents. We started our Slovakian visit with a stop just on the other side of the Tatra Mountains, in small village called Stará Lesná. This whole area is criss-crossed with world class hiking trails and there were several close enough to our camp to be able to do some good loops. That, and the views of the mountains from the camp were (allegedly) amazing….

Nope.

We arrived in the rain, set up in the rain and spent the rest of the day sat inside looking out at the rain. The mountains were hidden in the low clouds and never made an appearance. The next day was no better, the forecast awful and any prospect of doing any hiking over the next few days was out of the window. The campsite was actually quite expensive (due to its location and ‘views’) so there seemed little point staying here and we left after only one night. Our next planned destination was a national park not far away called Slovensky Raj (Slovak Paradise). This is an area of the Carpathian Mountains with lots of forest, gorges and waterfalls and is another hiking hotspot. We hoped that it would live up to its name.

On the way there we stopped for provisions at a very familiar place: a Tesco superstore. It was huge compared with any supermarket that we had seen so far on this trip, it sold everything and anything, and compared to a UK version, it was deserted. It seems the Slovakians need yet to be trained to use shopping as a recreational activity. We restocked our supplies with plenty of familiar products, many in the same packaging as they have in the UK. Nick was optomistic, but then very disappointed to find that ‘HP sauce’ is not one of Tesco Slovakia’s stock lines.

Our next campsite was in a small national park settlement charmingly called Podlesok. The road in was narrow and it had been a job to avoid the ditches when confronted with fast moving oncoming traffic. We arrived in a dry weather window and although we had planned to stay for two nights the chap behind the desk would only let us pay for one night initially. Due to all the rain the grassy sites were waterlogged and all but one of the hiking trails were closed due to dangerous conditions. Hmmm. This was sounding ominous. We found the least boggy patch of grass to park on, plugged in and put the awning out just as our weather window closed.

The rain was back and the temperature dropped by about 10 degrees. The coats, jumpers, jeans, socks and boots were back in service. We were ok, tucked up in our comfortable space, but we felt for the groups of tent campers, all in tiny pup tents. One group was a bunch of blokes who had rigged up a shelter using a tarpaulin strung between two cars. They were just drinking through it. The other was a group of families all with toddlers. They were grimacing through it, wishing they could drink.

The camp site had a laundry, so I decided to kill some time by washing the bedding and towels. This was a great idea until I discovered that on this wet, miserable and cold day the (only) (condenser) tumble dryer was not working. By then our only set of bedding was washed and, like everything else, decidedly damp. The drum of the dryer was turning, but not generating any heat. I walked the 200m down to reception in the driving rain to see what could be done, and the chap said that he would come up and look at it once he had a lull on the desk. I walked back to the laundry (in the rain) to wait for him, where I discovered that the machine was now seemingly functioning correctly, so I walked back to reception (in the rain) to give him the good news. It was working, but as anyone who has ever used a condenser tumble dryer will tell you, they are rubbish when it is very humid as they attempt to not only extract water from the clothes, but also from the adjacent 5km radius of atmosphere. It took the rest of the afternoon, and a fistful of euros, to get everything in the vicinity of ‘dry’ -Here endeth the protracted laundry tale.

The plus side of my faffing around was my discovery of the ‘Beer Machine’. Here, on the veranda of the camp kitchen/laundry area, was a machine that dispensed beer to anyone who wanted it, whenever they wanted it. €1.80 bought 500ml of very respectable quality pilsner and it accepted both cards and cash. There was a small home-printed sign sellotaped next to the machine which advised that alcohol was not to be bought by those under 18 years of age..that’ll stop’em, I’m sure… The rain finally eased in the evening and the beer machine helped everyone on the campsite cheer up a bit.

The next day we sat out some light rain in the morning with the prospect of the front clearing away by midday. Finally we could get out for a walk. We packed the usual picnic (ham and cheese sandwich with mayo and mustard, ready salted crisps and an apple to share), donned our coats, grabbed the Polskis and squelched ourway in the direction of the only open trail. The rain soon cleared as promised, and the afternoon turned out fine. Our trail started on a small lane, on which we encountered another Beer Machine, and then it headed up the Hornad River gorge, winding its way through a forest alongside the by now raging river. The path initially only gave us muddy puddles to contend with, but soon there were a few rocky sections that had a metal rungs and chain handrails to help us climb past them and then a ladder or two. After an hour or so we stopped for lunch and continued. Then it got serious.

We were confronted with a sheer rocky bluff that had metal grill steps embedded in the side of it, overhanging the river. They wound around the rock face, the curve hiding the extent of the terror ahead. Despite the chain handrail this spooked both of us. Nick, usually the more nervy of the two in these situations led the way slowly but only managed the first three or four steps before running out of courage. His comment was “No way, the next step looks like a grill off a BBQ. I’m not doing it. This is crazy.” I had no more courage than him, so we opted out and turned back. We had a very pleasant walk home and thus our planned 3-4 days of hiking in Slovakia was reduced to a two hour stroll and a ham and cheese sandwich.

That evening we had a very nice meal in the traditional Slovak restaurant next to the campsite. The only other diners left as we arrived, so this was also a private dining experience. Nick had meatballs and mashed potato and I had pork medallions and potato pancakes smothered in a very delectable wild mushroom cream sauce. Both dishes were delicious and definitely elevated beyond the expected rustic fayre. We also had a very drinkable bottle of red wine for the princely sum of €12. Slovaks should all be raging alcoholics given the beer dispensers and prices. Perhaps they are….

Our next stop in Slovakia was Spiš Castle. This hilltop monolith was built in the 12th century and up until 1464 belonged to the Kings of Hungary. It then passed into the hands of various influential families, was extended and modified, finally being destroyed by fire in 1780. It was gifted back to the country in 1945 and has been a UNESCO site since 1993. It looks like the sort of castle we are more used to: on a hill, made of stone, in a state of restored ruin. We free-camped in a carpark halfway up the hill which had a very fine view of the castle and spent a very pleasant hour or two wandering the ruins and its grounds (dodging more groups of school kids who this time all seemed to be armed with wooden swords and intent fighting duels with each other).

Later in the afternoon we strolled down the grassy path from the castle to Spišské Podhradie, the small town at its base. Here we visited a museum in a small historic synagogue which had a great photo exhibition of shots of both the castle from various angles and in various lights and a reportage series from a local Jewish wedding. Otherwise the town seemed a bit run down and there was not much to see so we walked back up the hill and waited for dark. The castle apparently looked great after dark when bathed in the yellow glow if its external uplighters. This unfortunately never happened and it remained resolutely un-uplit. I guess we can’t complain about the lost photo opportunities when we don’t pay the electricity bills.

Our carpark co-hosted a few other vans for the night, including a German couple who had a very cool looking truck camper, a smaller, more rugged version of Big Dave & Tin Can. Nick got chatting to them and had a quick guided tour inside. His verdict was that it was very sexy (and expensive), but lacked a lot of the space and comforts that Tin Can had, and Davide has.

So that was Slovakia for us, for the time being. Our wanderings will bring us back in a month or so, but in the meantime we are now off to Hungary.